On Getting Older

Today's events inspired me to write a blog honoring my old-as-shit self.  So without further adieu.....Here's how it went down.

Katelyn and I had yet another fun "sale Saturday" today, and late this afternoon we found ourselves at the.........MALL!!!  This is outrageous not ONLY because we prefer thrifty fashion and vintage/second-hand stores, but it was a frigging Saturday afternoon and you would have thought the entire state of Maine was at the mall.  But nonetheless there we were, #Starbucks in hand and baby Mikerton in his umbrella stroller nibbling on graham crackers, leaving a trail of soggy crumbs in every store.  That wasn't going to stop us, we were DETERMINED to get some cute spring clothes.  It has been winter forever, and the temperature reached a solid 47 degrees today....SPRING TIME FOR #Mainers!!!  Katelyn and I are very similar in our clothing taste.  I can be a bit more hoochie "edgy" but otherwise we both love super girly, flowy, flowery, somewhat boho looking clothes.  One of my BFF's at work often calls me a gypsy.  I'll take it.    I like to think of my style as modern Stevie Nicks with a little more sass.  Here are some examples of some outfits we would both enjoy:

 

On our quest, we found ourselves in Forever 21 or XXI as I affectionately call it.  While that store is SUPER overwhelming, I PRIDE myself in being 2 weeks shy of *GASP* 35 years old and what I thought still fashionable enough to appropriately dress in clothes from there.  Well ladies and gentleman, my world basically shattered today.  I walked into the store and something happened, I instantly turned into an old, crusty, haggard fart.  All of a sudden my age became so shockingly real as I walked through the store,  I felt like I  was in a tunnel.  I was surrounded by jelly shoes, short-shorts and belly shirts.  There were fluorescent pants and giant flower wreath headbands (which admittedly Katelyn and I both thought were cute, don't judge!!)

Totally cute, not practical.  Unless you are a fairy, in which case it's very practical.

  All around me were young girls in leggings and short, midriff-bearing shirts. I was in awe.  I realised that in order for me to even think about putting leggings on my body, I need to have some sort of large, draping tapestry on the top half of myself to assure full coverage of my ass and thighs.  I found myself picking up clothing with the old Italian woman look of disgust on my face saying things like "where are their mutthas letting them dress like that?" and "do you even think that would cover my c-section scar??" 


Katelyn longingly gave in and tried on one of the flower headbands.  She looked super cute and I told her to get it, to which she responded "what, am I going to put it on with my yoga pants and wear it up to the grocery store?"  Valid point.  But we refused to be defeated despite all of our setbacks.  we pressed on and continued to search for at least ONE item that we could rock.  We pawed through kitten shirts and platform sneakers. We burrowed through mounds of belly-shirts and high-waisted short shorts. We found nothing.  Defeated we pushed the snotty, crumb-riddled child out of the store, and then I made the Mother of old-fart quotes, "You know Kate, you'd think these girls would want to look cute. When I was their age I loved to look cute."  It was then I realized that I am NOT their age, and that's why I don't think their shit is cute.  I'm old. Middle-aged. Past my prime. #depressing

We walked out of the store and I suggested that we check out Eddie Bauer or Coldwater Creek. Something more "sensible."  How the frig did I get here???  I LITERALLY still feel like I'm 21.  In a blink of an eye I have a 9 year old and an almost 6 year old.  Days turn into nights and then back into days again.  I have really reached my 35th year of life, and I'll tell you what.....I'm going to FUCKING embrace it!!!!!  I feel younger than ever.  My kids are at the *best* ages and they are my buddies.  I have a career I love (and I think I'm pretty good at) and the most amazing group of friends. I have finally learned to (somewhat) let go of the gut-wrenching anxiety that has plagued me for years maybe it's the wine.  I have come to terms with what I have endured in life, and as cliche as it sounds, it TRULY had molded me into who I am as a 35 year old.  I like who I am and who the EFFFF cares what the calender says?  Despite my bum-luck at the mall today, I will never be frumpy.  I will always dye my hair, wear makeup and dress sassy .  I am going to empower all women, despite their calender age to feel young and beautiful.

I have earned all of my mother-effing wrinkles, as as soon as I can afford it you better believe I'll be botoxing the SHIT out of them.  As far as the clothing goes.....I'll stick with goodwill by the pound and my bargain stores for now.  Who knows, maybe Katelyn and I will be famous bloggers AND start our own clothing line.  We can call it "Boho clothes for Grown-Up Hoochies" or "This will DEFINITELY Cover Your C-Section Scar."

Of note.....I did get these shoes.....do these look like something an old fart would wear???  I think not!!

#Dreambig #Foreveryoung #35isthenew25

Until the next time...Peace, Love and Caffeine XOXO

#Passiontealemonade #YUM