An Open Letter to My Children

 My softer side :)
I have been meaning to write this forever, so I decided to share it with everyone

To My Greatest Accomplishments,
 
I have been meaning to write you a letter since you were born. But as fate would have it, life, work and raising you to be the amazing kids you are got in the way.  Well NOW it's time!

First, I need to let you know that I NEVER could even imagine the power of love until I became a mother.  It is the most fantastic, powerful, and pure form of love that anyone could ever experience.  I loved you both from the moment I wanted you, and I can honestly say that the love I feel for you has increased every.single.day. since your births.  From the moment they placed each of you in my arms I knew that I had to protect you and be the very best mother I could be.  You became my world, everything(one) else were just small pieces of it.

I have thoroughly enjoyed watching you mold into the perfect little people you are.  Both of you so different, but so awesome at the same time.  You both are so genuine and flawless in your own unique ways, and I look forward to every day I have on this earth being your Mother. I could watch you sleep for hours, still in awe at the perfection you both possess.  Did I really make something so astonishing???   I will continue to wonder this for the rest of my life.  How did I get so lucky?

You two are best friends, and when I catch a glimpse of you holding hands or laughing hysterically at each other it melts my heart every single time.  You have your own special language and your secret games, and the joy it brings me to watch this relationship is indescribable.   I know that as you grow older this may change.  Please my babies, even through the tough times remember the love you share and always put that first.  There is nothing more unbreakable than the bond of siblings, so please stay close and cherish one another.
 

Next my carrots, please understand that when I get upset, it's because I want what's best for you.  If I'm mad, its because I feel that whatever it is you're doing is not the best or safest way.  It does not mean I love you any less, in fact it's because I LOVE YOU SO MUCH that I want so much for you.  I may threaten to sell you to the gypsies, but they would have a helluva time getting past me :)
 

Gabriel, my little old soul.  You are the one who taught me how to be a mother and we continue to learn together.  Every day you amaze me with your budding personality and facts about EVERYTHING nature.  it's your Zen place and I hope you continue to find comfort in this your whole life.  I have watched you struggle and never give up, and you are KICKING THE ASS of Tourette's!!!!!  You haven't let your struggles bring you down, and on the rare occasions that things were really tough, you came to me and we worked it out.  I cannot even express how amazing it was to know that we could work through difficulties together, and you bet your bottom that I will continue to advocate, support and fight for you for the rest of your life.  The sky is not going to be the limit for all that you have to offer, and don't ever stop learning or being you!!
 

Leah Brynn, my little spit fire!  You came into this world fighting and it has turned you into the strongest-willed most solid 6 year old I have ever met.  Your laugh is contagious, and the room lights up when you are in it.  I beg you to keep this confidence and continue to build on it as you grow.  There are limitless possibilities to where this journey will take you, and you have the personality to persevere in whatever it is you will do.  Your art work is stunning and your creativity is going to take you far!  Please don't ever settle for anything less than amazing.  I will be right by your side as your fighter, advocate and biggest fan, and don't ever forget that.  Please know that you can always talk to me about ANYTHING, and there is nothing you could ever do or say to change that.

As we continue this journey together, I know that it's not always going to be easy.  There will be times when you don't like me or what I have to say.  Please know that I will continue to always everything to keep you safe and happy, regardless of how mad you are at me.  I will also continue loving you during the difficult times and hope that my love and support will get us through any struggles that may arise!  I will always be here, by your sides to pick you up when you are down or raise you up  even higher when you are thriving.  You both are my most important job.  I will never let you want for anything substantial, even if I'm worked to my limits.
 

In conclusion my children,  this journey has been nothing short of spectacular so far, and I look forward to waking up every day and being your mother. It is the most profound and meaningful job I will ever have. Thank you for being my babies (no matter how old you are)
 

LOVE, Mom
 

 Until the next time, peace, love, and caffeine!!! xoxo

Labor and Delivery 101

In the last month, I've had 3 various occasions while chatting with strangers or acquaintances where I've been told "You're a labor and delivery nurse!? That must be so fun getting to rock and play with babies all night." 

Truth is, that couldn't be any further from the truth. I simply nod and smile, agreeing that I do indeed love what I do, and agreeing that yes, it WOULD be fun to rock and play with babies all night, if that's what my job entailed. The fact of the matter is, the time I actually spend with the newborn is minimal.

The best way I can describe labor (totally subjective), is an out of body experience. Besides the excruciating pain, which is the most obvious thing you think of, there's the nausea, the pressure, the uncontrollable shaking, the fear/anxiety of what to expect and of course, the exhaustion. I think I've unintentionally, mentally blocked out of the majority of my labor, but I vividly remember at one point feeling like I was the lead in "The Exorcist", waiting for my head to start spinning at any minute. There's nothing that could've prepared me for labor, and I do this for a living....

My job as a labor nurse is NOT to rock and snuggle babies. The mother just worked so hard to deliver that baby, her body unknowingly just did a triathlon. SHE deserves to snuggle that baby. To look into its tiny, beautiful eyes and know that what she just experienced was not for nothing. 

My job is to support a woman when she's at her most vulnerable state. When she's scared or anxious, when her body is weak and tired, when she's trying to catch her breath in between the pain of contractions or pushing. To be on her side, to labor with her. My job is to be silent but present when my patient is trying to hypnobirth or having her partner as a labor coach. To offer advice, education, or recommendations when needed. To be non-biased of her beliefs, preferences and goals, but to remind her of why certain things need to be done from a medical stand point.

I have laughed with patients, as they stared at their baby, pointing out each tiny feature and running down the family tree trying to decide who the baby might look like. I have cried with patients when situations don't turn out as expected. I have prayed with patients and their families, held their hands, offered distraction or conversation, and sat in silence, letting them know my presence was there. I have been vomited on, bear hugged, and soaked head to toe while trying to monitor a patient who could only find comfort standing in the shower. 

Labor isn't always like you see in the movies. It can be long and non progressive. Patients will spend the majority of their pregnancies planning each detail about the birth and in one quick moment during labor, that whole plan can go out the window. As nurses, we WANT everything to go accordingly. We hope and pray for positive outcomes. We feel joy and and a sense of accomplishment when labor goes as planned. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. It's my job to come up with modifications to try to stick with the patient's plan as closely as possible when medical circumstances prevent them from having what was previously desired. To empower a woman, to help her find strength and faith in the situation. If or when a patient is ready to throw in the towel and get pain medication, it is my job to tell her that it's OKAY! That labor effing hurts! That there's no gold star for not getting medication and she has NOT let herself, her partner or me down. My most important goal when caring for someone is "safe mom and safe baby" and I will remind patient's of that. All the other details are just preferences, a guideline to follow but not to mold to. 

Like any job, my job can be frustrating. Sometimes communication can be lacking or it's difficult to see eye to eye with a patient. Sometimes I leave work sad when I have a challenging patient. Sometimes the patient is in so much pain, that you can't talk them down or your go to "bag of tricks" doesn't help. I have accepted that I cannot change the world but if I have made even the tiniest difference for the better, then I know I succeeded. 

Labor and delivery is hardcore. It's specialized and it's intimate. It's never just black and white or cut and dry. There are so many considerations and emotions involved. My coworkers amaze me everyday. I see them advocating for their patients, supporting and comforting them. Going out of their ways to meet the patient half way when it seems impossible to do so. Making referrals and offering resources to patients who may not have everything figured out. I have learned from them and continue to do so every shift. We are a family. It is definitely not a job for the meek or faint hearted. There are nights so crazy busy that we don't sit, we don't pee and a lunch break is considered inhaling food in 5 minutes at the desk while answering call bells and watching the fetal heart monitor.

Truth is, I love what I do. It's welcoming new life, or tragically saying goodbye too soon. It's rewarding and challenging. It's nerve-wracking and intense, joyous and heartbreaking. I LOVE snuggling babies and do occasionally while stamping footprints or at patient's request, but the look on a new mom or dad's face as they meet their child for the first time after a long wait, the instant love that explodes a room, THAT'S what keeps me going!

#perspective

Much love friends!
Katelyn

The Liebster Awards... My First Nomination!!

Hi Everyone!  This post is a bit different.  My friend and fellow blogger Sandy has nominated me to answer some questions.  It's a wonderful way to get to know more about your fellow bloggers.  Thank you so much Sandy!! And if you want to check out her totally awesome blog about her journeys, here is her address www.sandylitcher.blogspot.com .

Here are the questions Sandy gave me:
1. What is your all time favorite show or movie?
My all-time favorite show is a newly discovered one for me and it's Parenthood, hands-down.  I am a regular Netflix junkie, and I have watched A TON of shows, but NEVER has a show hit so close to home.  I laugh, I cry, and I feel like the whole Braverman family could be a part of my life.  Maybe it's because I never had that family-dynamic, but either way the show is well-done!  I chose a show because there is NO way I could have picked one movie.  Impossible.
2. What is your favorite season or holiday to decorate for?
Christmas. No questions asked.  I go ALL out!!!  Hand-made garland, little white lights, a huge tree, a village, carolers, it's like national Lampoon at our house, and I love it!!!
3. If you could give up one responsibility, in your life, what would it be?
Without question, Finances.  I suck at them, they are such a burden, and I hate it. Period.

4. If you had a day all to yourself, what would you do?

I would go to the beach. ALONE. With cucumber water and my kindle.  I would stay until sun-set and not have to worry about a thing.   It would be magical.

5. If you had an extra $1000 and no bills, how would you spend it?
I would take my kids on a vacation to the "beach in Florida" like they have been begging me to so.  Someday my carrots, someday.
6. What is your favorite thing about blogging?
I LOVE writing.  It is a creative outlet that I desperately need.  I love showing everyone my struggles, joys and adventures and I hope to meet some amazing people along the way!
7. How did you come up with your blog name?
I blog with my sister, and we wanted a title that suited both of us.  We are both super girly, but she has a country flair and I have a diva flair.  And with that, "Mascara and Mason Jars" was born
8. What is your favorite thing about you?
My spunk.  Some call it loud.  some call it funny. Some call it bitchy.  I call it ME!!!  I am full of energy and I say whats on my mind.  It has taken me a long time to reach this point of comfort in embracing who I am, and I am proud.
9. You get 3 wishes, what would you choose?
1. For my kids to be happy, healthy and genuine souls their whole lives
2. To NEVER have to worry about money again.  I'm not saying I want to be rich, and I KNOW money doesn't fix anything.  But the truth of the matter is that it's a necessity in this life and I'm sick of worrying.
3.For my kids to not have to grow up in such a crazy, scary world.
10. If you could be invisible for the day, where would you go?
This is a tough one but my gut is leaning towards going to a war-torn country to help me gain some perspective on the crazy things that are happening in this world.  Who knows, maybe I could see something that could end this madness and restore peace once again!!

I nominate Katelyn of www.mascaraandmasonjars.blogspot.com
to answer these 10 questions so our readers can get to know more about us:
We are BRAND NEW to blogging and don't follow a lot yet but that is a goal, and once we have some favorites there will be more nominations!!

1.What is your favorite childhood memory involving your siblings?
2. How has being a Mother changed your life?
3. What is your favorite thing about yourself?
4. What is your biggest weakness?
5. What do you love about blogging?
6. If you were given the opportunity to pamper yourself in any way, what would you do?
7. What scares you the most?
8. What is your favorite chore?
9. What is your favorite song of all time?
10. What do you wish for your future?

I hope everyone enjoys learning a bit more about us, and I'm off for most of the week so stay tuned for some great entries!

Until the next time Peace, Love and Caffeine.  MUAH.

On Getting Older

Today's events inspired me to write a blog honoring my old-as-shit self.  So without further adieu.....Here's how it went down.

Katelyn and I had yet another fun "sale Saturday" today, and late this afternoon we found ourselves at the.........MALL!!!  This is outrageous not ONLY because we prefer thrifty fashion and vintage/second-hand stores, but it was a frigging Saturday afternoon and you would have thought the entire state of Maine was at the mall.  But nonetheless there we were, #Starbucks in hand and baby Mikerton in his umbrella stroller nibbling on graham crackers, leaving a trail of soggy crumbs in every store.  That wasn't going to stop us, we were DETERMINED to get some cute spring clothes.  It has been winter forever, and the temperature reached a solid 47 degrees today....SPRING TIME FOR #Mainers!!!  Katelyn and I are very similar in our clothing taste.  I can be a bit more hoochie "edgy" but otherwise we both love super girly, flowy, flowery, somewhat boho looking clothes.  One of my BFF's at work often calls me a gypsy.  I'll take it.    I like to think of my style as modern Stevie Nicks with a little more sass.  Here are some examples of some outfits we would both enjoy:

 

On our quest, we found ourselves in Forever 21 or XXI as I affectionately call it.  While that store is SUPER overwhelming, I PRIDE myself in being 2 weeks shy of *GASP* 35 years old and what I thought still fashionable enough to appropriately dress in clothes from there.  Well ladies and gentleman, my world basically shattered today.  I walked into the store and something happened, I instantly turned into an old, crusty, haggard fart.  All of a sudden my age became so shockingly real as I walked through the store,  I felt like I  was in a tunnel.  I was surrounded by jelly shoes, short-shorts and belly shirts.  There were fluorescent pants and giant flower wreath headbands (which admittedly Katelyn and I both thought were cute, don't judge!!)

Totally cute, not practical.  Unless you are a fairy, in which case it's very practical.

  All around me were young girls in leggings and short, midriff-bearing shirts. I was in awe.  I realised that in order for me to even think about putting leggings on my body, I need to have some sort of large, draping tapestry on the top half of myself to assure full coverage of my ass and thighs.  I found myself picking up clothing with the old Italian woman look of disgust on my face saying things like "where are their mutthas letting them dress like that?" and "do you even think that would cover my c-section scar??" 


Katelyn longingly gave in and tried on one of the flower headbands.  She looked super cute and I told her to get it, to which she responded "what, am I going to put it on with my yoga pants and wear it up to the grocery store?"  Valid point.  But we refused to be defeated despite all of our setbacks.  we pressed on and continued to search for at least ONE item that we could rock.  We pawed through kitten shirts and platform sneakers. We burrowed through mounds of belly-shirts and high-waisted short shorts. We found nothing.  Defeated we pushed the snotty, crumb-riddled child out of the store, and then I made the Mother of old-fart quotes, "You know Kate, you'd think these girls would want to look cute. When I was their age I loved to look cute."  It was then I realized that I am NOT their age, and that's why I don't think their shit is cute.  I'm old. Middle-aged. Past my prime. #depressing

We walked out of the store and I suggested that we check out Eddie Bauer or Coldwater Creek. Something more "sensible."  How the frig did I get here???  I LITERALLY still feel like I'm 21.  In a blink of an eye I have a 9 year old and an almost 6 year old.  Days turn into nights and then back into days again.  I have really reached my 35th year of life, and I'll tell you what.....I'm going to FUCKING embrace it!!!!!  I feel younger than ever.  My kids are at the *best* ages and they are my buddies.  I have a career I love (and I think I'm pretty good at) and the most amazing group of friends. I have finally learned to (somewhat) let go of the gut-wrenching anxiety that has plagued me for years maybe it's the wine.  I have come to terms with what I have endured in life, and as cliche as it sounds, it TRULY had molded me into who I am as a 35 year old.  I like who I am and who the EFFFF cares what the calender says?  Despite my bum-luck at the mall today, I will never be frumpy.  I will always dye my hair, wear makeup and dress sassy .  I am going to empower all women, despite their calender age to feel young and beautiful.

I have earned all of my mother-effing wrinkles, as as soon as I can afford it you better believe I'll be botoxing the SHIT out of them.  As far as the clothing goes.....I'll stick with goodwill by the pound and my bargain stores for now.  Who knows, maybe Katelyn and I will be famous bloggers AND start our own clothing line.  We can call it "Boho clothes for Grown-Up Hoochies" or "This will DEFINITELY Cover Your C-Section Scar."

Of note.....I did get these shoes.....do these look like something an old fart would wear???  I think not!!

#Dreambig #Foreveryoung #35isthenew25

Until the next time...Peace, Love and Caffeine XOXO

#Passiontealemonade #YUM

Beauty Products I Currently Can't Live without

 

This evening I decided to do a short, impromptu blog about some of my current FAVORITE beauty products.  I LOVE products.  I love fake nails, I love fake hair, I love fake eyelashes, I love fake boobs..well you get the point!  I have deemed myself as a "non-licenced cosmetologist" and I have EVERY intention of living up to my invented status!!

Okay, real quick, here are some things I'm OBSESSED with for the moment:

PURRTTTTYYY on my stubby hands!

 For an el-cheapo polish, I have had great luck with wet-n-wild.  The brush is curved and the polish goes on easily and evenily. (I have no more "e" adjectives at this time)

This polish color rocks!!  It is like having the pleasure of a shamrock shake without the making your ass fat!

 

 

I don't care what you're doing!  drop everything and get this gel-effect top coat.  I found it at Rite-Aid and it's called "Julie"  It dries LIGHTNING fast (which is great because I'm always efing my nails up) and it legit looks like I have a shellac.  Win-win!

 

Just because I always see this foolish hand/polish pose on Pinterest, I wanted to try.  Note the polish dripping down the bottle.  #fail

 

 

 

This shit is AWESOME!!  The only way I can describe it is if you took a selfie with a "softening" filter.  It softens up lines, pores, and wrinkles and feels like satin to touch.  I use it before makeup to maintain my ever-youthful appearance!

 

 

Even application, smells great and you don't catch cancer (at least not yet).  You don't get those crazy orange streaks and it gives you an even glow.  I try to use it twice a week starting in the spring so I don't blind anyone when bathing suit season hits. (that'll be another blog)

 I have always loved maybelline mascaras.  The pink and green one was the first mascara I ever used, and is still my go-to. This one is AWESOME!!  There are 2 brushes, one for top lashes and one for bottom.  My lashes were so long and full after using this, they were touching my eyelids!!  It's an A+ for a drugstore brand!

 

 

 

 

Please excuse how messy the compact is, but this is what I use for my brows, so it gets A LOT of action.  It is well worn and well-loved!!  $2.99 NYC eyebrow kit.  The wax goes on first to shape, and the powder evenly fills in and is long lasting.  It's my fav!!

 

This little bottle of magic is a little pricey, but it truly is a miracle!!  I use it on wet hair, it smells DEELISHOUSS, and it really repairs damage caused by every day styling.  Its an A+!

 

 

Well here you have it, Danielles' Favorite things......for the moment :)

 

Until the next time peace, love and caffeine!!!  xoxoxox Happy  beautifying!!

Easter Endeavors and Eyebrows!!!

Happy Easter everyone!!  It's been quite a day.  My little one and I have been under the weather for the past couple of days, but we totally pulled our shit together and rocked Easter.  Thank GOD Rite-Aid is open and I was able to get cough medicine and Tylenol.  I hope everyone had a great day and was able to celebrate with their loved ones.  We went to my in-laws for an egg hunt with the carrots.(for those of you who don't know, I refer to my children solely as "the carrots" due to their ah-mazing orange hair.  Creative, I know.)

Here are some highlights:

 

Miss sicky pants wouldn't stay in the house and coughed all day!

 

Gabe in his Zen place at the brook at his grandparent's house

 

The Easter bunny is an asshole!!!  Look at the mess that creepy little bastard leaves at the door!

 

 

Okay.  Now we HAVE to move on to the next order of business.   Apparently my baby Sister and co-author/founder of this blog is having a mass amount of confusion regarding the eyebrow trend.  As her older wiser sister, I am here to shed some light on the situation.  EYEBROWS ARE SUPER IMPORTANT!!!!!!! (See why below)

 

 

 

 



  They define and accentuate your eyes and overall look polished and SPECTACULAR when groomed.  They can change the way your whole face looks. That being said, I understand Katelyn's confusion....a little bit.  I personally have super thin and somewhat light eyebrows.  It is because in 1997 I wanted to look like a hoochie and frigging NAIRED my eyebrows to achieve that PERFECT pencil-thin rainbow look.

 

Oh Pamela, how we all wanted to be you!!



 

They never effing grew back the right way.  In college I started to put clear mascara on them so they were more defined.  I'm old as shit so this was still 1999-2003 and the eyebrow trend still wasn't as huge as it is now.  It wasn't until a few years back that I started to lightly pencil them in.  It was then that my OBSESSION started.  As luck would have it the whole became obsessed as well and tutorials, photos and Pinterest pages were at the top of every search engine! Even people with naturally thick and well-shaped eyebrows are filling them in.  The reason is the beautiful, almost vintage look that it creates.   Here is my absolute FAVORITE eyebrow tutorial on the Internet.  Note how full and beautiful her brows are to start.   All of her videos are awesome.  I want to be her.  Okay, that was a little creepy.

 

Moving forward, I do NOT spend 13 minutes on my brows.  She clearly does not have children.  I also no longer use a pencil.  I use a thin, slanted brush with a brow wax to get the shape followed by a powder to fill them in.  I started with a pencil, but I think the powder looks less-harsh.  I follow this pattern:

When I'm done filling in, I always take a small concealer brush and outline my art-work with concealer to sharpen the look!  This is KEY!!

 

Here is some Photographic evidence:

I'm sick as shit and haven't slept so excuse the glassy eyes and REDIC "mom"ponytail, BUT look at my  right brow vs. my left!

 

LOOK AT THE EFFING DIFFERENCE!!!!!!

 

Ok, so we see how eyebrow definition works for me with my light/thin brows, but that still doesn't help answer the question as to why people with thick/defined brows are filling them in.   Let me shed some light.  Not many people are born with uniform eyebrows, and a little powder can really make a difference in how even they are.  I also think that the current trend of super defined brows was not limited to girls who didn't have any.  Even those with what appeared to be perfect natural brows were filling in here and there.  My video totally reaffirms this.  Her natural brows are great but her filled in ones are pin-up worthy!!

 

At the end of the day, it is all a matter of preference, but I for one am leaving my 1990's gangsta look right where it belongs.....in 1997!!!!

 

Until next time Peace, love and caffeine! (also tissues, Imodium and Tylenol)

 

**Danielle